Tiny Diva

Tiny Overlord welcomes his cousin, Tiny Diva, as a household guest this week. Tiny Diva's primary mission is to enforce the Prime Directive in the unlikely event that Tiny Overlord chooses to rest during the evening.

Tiny Feedings

Like any busy, all-powerful ruler, Tiny Overlord relies on servants to deliver sustenance while he weighs the critical issues of the day. Freed from the dual burdens of foraging and preparing his own food, Tiny Overlord has delivered numerous landmark decisions while feeding. The most recent of these is Load v. Pants (2009), on the minimum acceptable interval between soilings.

In order to reduce uncertainty and inconsistency regarding the feeding process, Tiny Overlord issues the following:

Standards Bulletin 3DG-2809: Feedings
Upon activation of the Tiny Overlord stomach quantity alarm (screaming accompanied by lip-smacking and possible eating-of-hand -- Figure 1), the nearest subject shall promptly execute the official Feeding Procedure. Tiny Overlord will signal completion of the procedure by issuing a new communication, an expulsion of waste material (Figure 2), or in rare cases, a facial expression designed for positive reinforcement. Excessive delay or use of an unapproved procedure is strictly prohibited and may result in banishment.

Figure 1 - Stomach Quantity Alarm

Figure 2 - Completion of Feeding Procedure

Tiny Directive 56-952b

No subject shall be allowed to sit on the couch for more than 5 minutes at a time while holding Tiny Overlord. Subjects shall carry Tiny Overlord around the house while bouncing him. If the bouncing is satisfactory, Tiny Overlord may grant some quiet. It is likely, however, to be unsatisfactory, and while the bouncing will be required to continue, quiet will not be granted.

Tiny Proclamation

Household Subjects:

Be it Known, on this 26th Day of July, 1 A.M. (Anno Michaeli), Tiny Overlord hereby establishes this electronic web log for the express purpose of Official Communication. All decrees, edicts, proclamations, directives, orders, laws, rulings, opinions, and other Official Sentiments, shall be transcribed from Tiny Overlord's native tongue (Screaming) into the commoner's language (English) by Head Serfs Glen and Rachel.

Edict 2748-432 (The Prime Directive):
No subject shall sleep between sundown and sunrise, as this is the the official period of new communications from the Tiny Overlord. Violators will be subject to projectile vomiting.

Additional communications to follow...